Memory Monday – Diaper Changing Fiasco

I’ve probably mentioned it before… but I’m plugged into a pretty cool Facebook group of Dad Bloggers. It’s a place where guys can ask their dad and blogging questions and get them answered by other dads who have already “been there and done that”.

Awhile back one of the guys in the group that I have become friends with announced that he was starting his own dad-centric podcast. I offered to record a show intro and outro for him… just like I had previously done for my friends at the Parental Dadvisory podcast. It’s my small way of giving back to the online community that I have gained a lot of value from.

Brock, the new podcast host, and I collaborated together on what he wanted me to say and the type of music to use. Together, we came up with a finished product that he really loved. I’m tooting my own horn here but I thought it sounded great too and accurately described his vision for the show.

There was only one thing left to do. He just needed to put the interview he had already recorded between the open and close… and then press “publish” to send the first episode of the NOMADad Podcast out into the world.

Since I had a vested interest in the show I had already signed up for the Anchor podcast app to let me know when new episodes get published. I got the notification and listened to that first episode on my commute home that night.

I was blown away by the quality of the content. For his first episode, Brock interviewed a friend of his who was a new dad. We’re talking “a first-time dad with a newborn less than two weeks old new”.

As the two dads on the podcast talked about their experiences I couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit. Many of the thoughts and actions of that new dad mirrored my own in the days after our first daughter was born. About 11 minutes into the podcast the new dad described the first diaper change that he performed in the hospital.

I was instantly taken back to the first diaper change I did at the hospital. To be honest, I think it was the first diaper I had ever changed in real life. Sure, I had read the parenting books on how to do it and may have even practiced on a doll in our pregnancy classes… but none of that really prepared me for how that first diaper change would go down.

Being a planner, I had the wipes ready. Diaper opened, flattened out, and placed in what I thought was a “strategically position”. Then the moment of truth. The tape came off one side of the dirty diaper… and then the other. There was nothing holding it onto our daughter anymore and there was no turning back. I gingerly took a tiny, little foot in each hand and lifted her up.

This is when I realized the first flaw in my plan. I didn’t have a third arm to do the wiping and the diaper situating.  I gently tried to take both feet into my left hand so I could work with my right.

My newborn daughter was not a fan of this at all and kicked. The kick was sudden and unexpected to this rookie dad. Her force surprised me and I let go of her feet. Experienced parents can probably see where the story is heading.

One of her heels landed squarely into that dirty diaper. It was her first one too which is always darker and stickier than your typical dirty diaper. Think greenish black and tar-like.

You soon to be dads can Google and read up on meconium. You might find it informative and useful.

To make matters worse, the heel that landed was also the one that got the heel stick, blood test after she was born so it had a band-aid on it. Looking back now it had to have been one comical scene. An inexperienced dad not quite ready for the challenge of that first diaper… and a baby flailing her limbs around in a strange new world.

In the commotion, the clean diaper I had readied got knocked to the floor and I realized the two wipes I had on standby weren’t going to be nearly enough. One of the many thoughts hitting my head at that moment was  “How do I pick up the clean diaper from the floor while making sure my daughter doesn’t fall off the changing pad?”

The nurse in the room at the time was a real pro. She didn’t laugh at all. Instead, she came to my rescue, asking if I minded if she took over. I was happy for the help and for the pointers she gave while finishing what I started. “Don’t worry,” she assured me. “It gets easier. Before long you’ll be able to do this one-handed and half asleep.”

I never quite got the one-handed diaper change perfected… but I know I’ve changed more than one diaper in my sleep before. 🙂

What’s your diaper change story?

If you enjoyed this please share it with your friends:

4 thoughts on “Memory Monday – Diaper Changing Fiasco”

  1. Funny. Your post brought back my memories of changing that first diaper. I looked at the nurse and said, “my daughter needs to be cleaned.” The nurse tossed me a diaper and a rag, “Get to it daddy.”

  2. Tony, Brock read this too me before bed the other night. It made us giggle and remember those early days too. Our oh crap come help me phrase (pun intended) was “oooohhhh man.” Aka come running now preferably grabbing the closest container of wipes on your way.

    1. Glad it brought back some memories for you too, Corie. I’m happy to be out of the diaper days… but now with teens we deal with a whole different kind of crap. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.